Table of Contents:

I. Remember the families of the fallen on Father's Day...and do something

II. Upcoming Street Survival Seminars

Remember the families of the fallen on Father's Day...and do something

By Dave Smith
Lead Street Survival Seminar Instructor

Next Sunday, June 17th, is Father's Day and it is good time to think about the role family plays in our lives. It is so vital that it's even one of the keys to survival often mentioned in the survivor mindset. Too often today all we hear about is the dysfunction of families and abuse and on and on, but, in fact, most of us were and are better for our parents love and direction.

While we might redefine traditional family structures, I think we tend to think only of the family as a biological unit and not necessarily as a strong social and extended entity. Regardless of whether Tommy has two mommies or two daddies, he has tons of brothers and sisters if he chooses to become a law enforcement officer. We know now that the emotional support from our "Blue Family" can truly be a powerful healing agent, and an antidote for the stress of critical incidents and other traumatic events. [Editor's note: Read A sergeant's worst nightmare...and the healing bond of the "blue family" for a moving example.]

One of the challenges you will always face is this: what is the best way to support one our own when he or she faces a tough situation or a traumatic incident? I know from personal experience the one thing we shouldn't do is nothing. "Nothing" is easy, it is passive, we risk nothing emotionally when we do it...it is only later that the terrible result of nothing takes its toll, many times on us in the form of guilt at not having done something!

The funny thing about caring, risking, reaching out, is later it tends to makes us feel better...about ourselves! When you decide to reach out for a friend it is easy, just show you care. I have interviewed so many officers who felt lonely and abandoned after being sent home after winning an armed confrontation and heard nothing from their friends in the agency. Others have told me that even though they had missed a call from one of their brothers at work, the officer calling had left a short support voicemail that the recipient had kept for a long time after as one keeps a letter or card from a friend.

All this is the easy part, caring about a fellow warrior...but what about a family of one of our fallen? I remember an interview with Vivian Eney of Concerns of Police Survivors many years ago when she told of the sense of abandonment so many families felt when the funeral was over, the flag folded and everyone had gone home. The phones fell silent, the sense of family was gone...

COPS has done a wonderful job of supporting the families of the fallen but it is never right for us to let others assume our moral duty. Remember the children, the spouses, the parents, the families of those who we have lost and take time this time to reach out again if you have let is pass too long since you have spoken to them. Father's Day should be a time of celebration and love, but for many it is a time of sorrow and remembrance. Even as you think of your father this week, think of taking a chance, remember the families of the fallen men and women who have served beside us, and do something...


II. Upcoming Street Survival Seminars

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