I was watching one of those “Worlds Craziest Police Whatever” shows the other day and as the officer on the video ran from cover to shoot at a suspect who was using cover, my wife, Betsy, commented, “He’s trying to get himself killed.” Twenty-eight years on the job has made her a tad cynical and I simply replied, as the officer survived unscathed, “Well, he certainly didn’t try hard enough!”
I then decided to give some guidelines to those who secretly have a need to get hurt or killed on the job. I just hope they don’t get you or your cohorts injured or killed. Just add your own points to the following, print it out, and give it to whoever you work with who you think is trying to get themselves killed:
How to Live Hard, Die Young and Keep the Retirement Fund Full!
1. Follow a very predictable routine. Try to patrol the same way every day and always take the same route to and from calls, the station, and meals, whatever.
2. You don’t need your firearm very often, and most cops will never get involved in a shooting, so why get so obsessed with range time and proper maintenance? Speaking of maintenance, expect all that other equipment you carry to take care of itself.
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3. Seatbelts are for suckers and if you can get the car to roll you can defeat the airbag as well.
4. Talk, type, and read while driving. Talk on the phone too. Statistically this really stacks the deck.
5. Rush…that is it, whatever you do just rush in, rush there, rush through. Faster is always better.
6. Expect everyone to be compliant and predictable.
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7. Don’t use backups and if you are stuck with one try to distract them as much as possible.
8. Stand as close as you can to whomever you are dealing with; better still, have your hands in your pockets as this not only makes you an easier target, but you will also look cool while you’re at it!
9. Eat, drink, and smoke as much as you can. Avoid getting enough sleep and don’t exercise.
10. Don’t bother with new tactics, information and training; if it was important you would have learned it in the academy.
11. Don’t forget the little things that make you vulnerable; you know, stand between cars, stand in doorways, leave your flashlight on the whole time you are searching, don’t use cover, you know… the little things.
12. Speaking of little things, make sure to let everything get to you, on or off duty. From the guy who was rude on your last traffic stop to your kid’s failure to get straight A’s, make sure it bothers you a lot... focus on it.
13. When you’re running “code” to a hot call, assume that everyone will get out of your way thanks to those flashing lights and sirens and go as fast as you can. This goes double if you’re a motor officer.
Remember, ol’ J.D. “Buck” Savage wasn’t born out of my imagination, but out of real-life mistakes made by me and the officers I worked with, trained and observed. Now, add your favorite points, print it out and give it that special someone you always dread being sent as YOUR backup!
About the Author
Dave Smith is an internationally known motivational speaker, writer and law enforcement trainer who has been an integral part of the Calibre Press family for over 20 years. As a career police officer, Dave held positions in patrol, training, narcotics, SWAT, and management. In 1980 he developed the popular "Buck Savage" survival series videos and was the lead instructor for the Calibre Press "Street Survival" seminar from 1983 to 1985 and then again from 2002 to 2007. He is now "Street Survival's" senior instructor and the Director of Video Production for PoliceOneTV. |
