The "ready round" — What to say to a survivor

Part of an officer’s stress inoculation process is to make up their mind — ahead of time — what they will do when a critical incident occurs. Whether that’s engaging an active shooter, as Sgt. Mark Todd and Sgt. Kimberly Munley (both civilian officers with the Department of Army), did when they stopped the murderous rampage of Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan, or something entirely different, the key is to be prepared for the unexpected.

Lt. Col. Dave Grossman, the author of On Killing  and On Combat, writes in Chapter Six of On Combat  that “the right response to a survivor is to say simply, ‘I’m so glad you’re okay.’ That the person survived the ordeal and is okay is all that matters.”

Grossman says further that an officer involved in a shooting doesn’t need to hear “good shooting” or “the bastard had it coming” or “we’ll get you a good lawyer.” Instead, says Grossman, the message should be: “I give a damn about you, and I’m glad you’re okay.”

Calling this the “ready round,” Col. Grossman says this is the one that’s “in the chamber ready to go when you do not know what to say or do. You simply let the person know that you care about him and are glad he is okay.”

PoliceOne thanks Lt. Col. Dave Grossman and the men and women of Killology Research Group for giving us permission to reprint this excerpt of Grossman’s excellent book.