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10 tips for police rookies who think they know everything

You’re almost done with your probationary period and you aced the academy — in short, you think you know a lot


Okay, Rookie, you’re almost done with your probationary period. You aced the academy. You’ve spent all kinds of off-time with your nose in the best books on police work. In short, you think you know a lot.

Here are ten things from an old hand you may not yet know — but should.

  1. When you have the slightest sense that you need to use the bathroom, don’t wait. That’s nature’s way of saying you’re going to be directing traffic at a crash for an hour.
  2. We ancients aren’t too old to fight — we’re just too old to want to.
  3. Don’t let anybody make fun of you for wearing an athletic cup. They’re great for crossing fences, surviving knee strikes and proving to bad guys how tough you are by smacking yourself in the groin with your flashlight as you roar like the Incredible Hulk.
  4. Slow down in almost everything you’re doing now — driving, talking, approaching a call or sending an email. I know you have lightning reflexes and great confidence, but the faster you get into trouble the longer it takes to get out of it.
  5. Try saying, “I’d like to better understand the rationale for this procedure” instead of “why do we do this stupid stuff?”
  6. Resist the temptation to show off your cool toys to civilian friends. It’s all fun and games until the on-duty officers show up.
  7. If you haven’t decided you can kill somebody, you need to work that out now. If you have decided you can’t wait to kill somebody, join the Marines instead.
  8. If you ever hear yourself saying a catch phrase from a TV cop show, cancel your cable.
  9. For all the advice not to take your job home, it’s not going to happen. This is not a job you do, it’s who you are. So find one thing — art, church, literature — something that will give you a window to the rest of the world or the person you were before you put that badge on.
  10. Save your money and forego that $500-a-month truck payment. The freedom of cool wheels beneath you can become a ball and chain pretty quickly.

Any other tips for the know-it-all rookie in your department? Add them in the comments below.

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