'We cannot bring you toilet paper': Oregon town's police lament 911 calls for TP shortage
The Newport Facebook page offered alternatives should residents find themselves without their favorite two-ply tissue
NEWPORT, Ore. — With toilet paper a hot item and difficult to find in some stores, you may or may not be surprised to know that some people are calling 911 when they run out.
Police in Newport, Oregon say: Stop it.
"It’s hard to believe that we even have to post this," Newport Police wrote on Facebook Saturday evening. "Do not call 9-1-1 just because you ran out of toilet paper. You will survive without our assistance."
The department goes on to suggest several alternatives - some more possible in modern day times than others. Or you can do what old farmers used, which was corn cobs and...pages from the Farmer's Almanac, Newport Police say. (Just...don't try flushing that down the toilet.)
Their Facebook post lists even more 'ideas.' But "bottom" line?
"Be resourceful. Be patient. There is a TP shortage. This too shall pass," Newport police said. "Just don’t call 9-1-1. We cannot bring you toilet paper."
- Bizarre Beat