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What not to say at a police job interview

Based on real things people have said at police job interviews.

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Please don’t base the job off of Making a Murderer.

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By RJ Beam

A little over a year ago I wrote a blog post about real things said at police job interviews. We are in the midst of a hiring process, and I am on the interview panel again, so here is a fresh new batch of stuff people said that will NOT earn them a job in police work:

In what ways have you prepared for a career in police work?

Answer 1 - I went to the university and got my degree. Most cops only have a community college certificate, but I’ve got a real degree. If you think about it, I am likely the smartest guy in this room.

Answer 2 - I always wanted to be an officer, so my mom signed me up for the police science program at the tech school. When I was in college, my mom made sure I kept up on all my homework. I graduate in May, so in December, my mom started to fill out job applications for me and mailed them out.

Answer 3 - I have watched Making a Murderer on Netflix five times now. I know all the mistakes the officers made in that case. I can assure you I will never make the same mistakes.

Where do you see your police career in five years?

Answer 1 - Not here. My dream is to work in Green Bay, but they are not hiring right now. So I will work for you guys until they start hiring and transfer up there.

Answer 2 - I have my personal training certification, so I plan to implement a PT program here. In five years all the fat cops in this town will be ripped just like I am.

Answer 3 - You guys have a SWAT team right? Well in five years I will be the chief of the SWAT team.

Why do you want to be a police officer?

Answer 1 - My dad is a lieutenant at (neighboring jurisdiction). He said if I became an ambulance driver he would disown me. So I better be an LEO to keep on his good side.

Answer 2 - Personal training does not pay as much as you would think. Also no benefits and no retirement plan. Being a cop will allow me to use my fitness knowledge and actually get paid for it.

Answer 3 - I have been active with CopBlock and a friend keeps saying don’t judge the police until you try doing their job. So here I am.

That is all the questions we have for you. Do you have anything you want to ask us?

Answer 1 - Is it possible to put in a vacation request now for Christmas? My mom expects everyone to come home for the holiday. I would hate to disappoint her.

Answer 2 - I got arrested for drunk driving two nights ago. Will that hurt my chances of getting this job?

Answer 3 - Does Officer Smith still work here? When I was 15, he arrested me for a bullshit underage drinking violation. That arrest got me kicked off the football team. I would like to see him so I can punch him in the face.

While we got some silly answers, we also interviewed a few high-quality young men and women. It is safe to say a few of them will soon be in uniform out on our city streets.

Uniform Stories features a variety of contributors. These sources are experts and educators within their profession. Uniform Stories covers an array of subjects like field stories, entertaining anecdotes, and expert opinions.
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