P1 Humor Corner: One-liners and videos


Editor’s Note:

Editor's Note: Remember, if you’ve heard a good one lately or have a funny story from your shift that won’t get you called into the Chief's office, we want to hear from you! Send us an email with your photo, joke, limerick, or video, and if it is selected it for publication you could receive a PoliceOne T-Shirt.

I want to do a little something different this time around, so I’ve compiled a handful of items sent to me over the past few months. Three one-liners and two short videos.

Let’s begin with a contribution from PoliceOne Member ‘sgtnopd.’ Thanks to for this one Sgt!

What’s the difference between Canada and Minnesota? In Canada, Moosehead is a beer, in Minnesota it’s a misdemeanor!

How about this one, from PoliceOne Member “ms7125.” Thanks Mike!

An officer conducting speed detection duties stops a young man for travelling in excess of 40 mph over the limit. Quite pleased with himself, the officer approaches the young man and says, “Well, 40 over...I been waiting for you to come along all day.”

Without pause, the young man replies, “I got here as fast as I could!”

Finally, here’s one that’s been sent to me — in a number of variations — by about five different people.

Getting ready for my shift I was reading the local paper and read a headline that had me dismayed. “Department toilet stolen, officers have no leads and nothing to go on.”

Now, for the videos... 

Our Once and Future LEOs
This video clip has been flying around the Internet in the past few days — three different friends have sent it to me within the span of about 72 hours. Check it out. Remind you of anyone in your PD? 

Stupid Should Hurt
This moron actually drove to the convenience store to get more beer. Instead of getting more suds he got a couple of lumps on the back of his empty head. I’m told that he ended up leaving in the rear seat of a squad car before he could hurt anybody else.

That’s it for now.  Remember, we’ll periodically post new humor content in the secure, LEOs-only section of the website, so check back regularly for new stuff!

About the author

Doug Wyllie is Editor at Large for PoliceOne, responsible for providing police training content and expert analysis on a wide range of topics and trends that affect the law enforcement community. An award-winning columnist — he is the 2014 Western Publishing Association "Maggie Award" winner in the category of Best Regularly Featured Digital Edition Column — Doug has authored more than 900 feature articles and tactical tips. Doug is also responsible for planning and recording the PoliceOne Podcast, Policing Matters, as well as being the on-air host for PoliceOne Video interviews. Doug also works closely with the PoliceOne Academy to develop training designed to prepare cops for the fight they face every day on the street.

Doug regularly represents PoliceOne as a public speaker in a variety of forums and is available for media interviews — he has appeared on numerous local and national radio and television news programs, and has been quoted in a host of print publications. 

Doug is a member of International Law Enforcement Educators and Trainers Association (ILEETA), an Associate Member of the California Peace Officers' Association (CPOA), and a member of the Public Safety Writers Association (PSWA).

Contact Doug Wyllie

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  2. Police Jobs and Careers
  3. Bizarre Beat
  4. Police Humor

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