22 things that happen only to cops

#10. You carry two wallets and see nothing unusual about this


I don’t know that all of these things happen only to cops, but people in other professions would be unlikely to experience the set. Add your suggestions in the comment box below.

  1. You use handcuffs regularly, and not for recreation.
  2. Ammunition and body armor purchases are tax-deductible.
  3. You know how long you need to work until you retire, down to the day. In the year or so pending retirement, to the hour and minute.
  4. You can discuss catastrophic traumatic injuries, decapitations and gunshot wounds over a meal with colleagues and not regard the topic as the least bit unusual.
  5. You can identify recreational drugs used in your area by appearance and packaging with better than 95% accuracy.
  6. Your only wardrobe choices for work are long sleeve vs. short sleeve.
  7. You know the working hours of every fast food joint and coffee shop in your town, and what menu items are not available at night.
  8. Before planning a vacation, you have to clear your schedule with district and city attorneys.
  9. Your off-duty wardrobe Is selected for how well your gun will be concealed.
  10. You carry two wallets and see nothing unusual about this.
  11. Non-cop friends (and there aren’t all that many) always mention your profession when introducing you.
  12. If called on to spell something out loud, your reflex is to use phonetics (Adam, Boy, Charles, etc.).
  13. You are uncomfortable sitting in a room with your back to the door.
  14. Your personal keyring includes a handcuff key.
  15. You occasionally change clothes in your garage because you don’t want to expose your family to what may be on them.
  16. You’ve been in a funeral procession that was several miles long and never met the person who died.
  17. When you watch TV shows and movies about cops, you pay more attention to the technical errors than the plot.
  18. You have a drawer full of dark blue or black socks.
  19. You have another drawer full of holsters.
  20. The linings of your suit and/or sport coats are torn up from rubbing on your gun.
  21. Venues for a night on the town are selected in part for the likelihood of running into people you have arrested or are going to.
  22. The word “basketweave” conjures up mental photos of leather goods, not ornamental baskets.

Next: 24 things cops know, but most people don’t

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