5 great pranks cops have played on their co-workers
Every cop loves a good prank
Cops often see the worst the world has to offer. They need humor to help them cope with the challenges they face every day.
That is why every cop loves a good prank, and sometimes it can be a varsity sport.
1. Open House
An officer and his wife went away for a well-deserved 10-day vacation. When they returned home, they noticed lots of cars parked alongside the road. It appeared that someone was having some sort of party. They were shocked to see 25 or so people walking in and around their house. There was a real estate sign in front of the house indicating an open house.
The cop got out of the car yelling, “No, there’s been some mistake! This is our house, it’s not for sale!” The cop stormed inside to confront the realtor. He entered the kitchen and was shocked to find his partner serving a tray of cookies to the prospective buyers.
His partner’s wife was a real estate agent. He borrowed her sign and placed an ad in the local newspaper offering an open house, listing the property at well below market value. He knew the location of their extra key and thought it would be a great way to welcome them home from a relaxing vacation. After realizing he had been fooled, the cop burst out laughing. His wife, however, took a little more time to see the humor in it.
2. The Environmental Approach
A few weeks later the pretend real estate agent went on his own vacation. He hid his spare key, anticipating payback. His partner decided to take an environmental approach. The day after he left town, his partner went and purchased 6 yards of horse manure. He informed the truck driver that he was a lazy guy and needed him to pile it right at the end of the driveway, which prevented the cop on vacation from being able to enter his driveway. That way, he would be motivated to spread the manure in his backyard. The cop lived in a dense neighborhood with houses right up against each other. You can imagine his surprise when he came home to a driveway full of horse s*%t which had been fermenting in the hot sun for days. Needless to say, his neighbors were bulls%&t at him.
3. Always Lock Your Car Door
As a rookie cop, you soon learn to lock your cruiser and your personal car when you park it. Sure, you have to be leery of some bad guy stealing your stuff. But more importantly, you have to fear what you coworkers will put in your car. I was walking with my training officer into the station to drop off some paperwork. One of the regular drunks who hung out at the station was in the parking lot looking for a ride to the shelter.
“Can I get a ride to Pine Street, Captain?” He was hammered. His clothes were filthy and he had urinated on himself. He most likely was lice-infested.
My partner replied, “Do you want to go to the shelter or do you just want to sleep it off in the back of my car?”
“Captain, if I can just sleep for a few hours in your car, that would be great. Can you get me up at two?”
My training officer led him over to the personnel car belonging to his regular partner. He gave him a bottle of water and allowed him sleep in the back seat. He gave him a sweatshirt that was on the seat and told him he could use it as a pillow.
We met up with the car’s owner at a call an hour or two later. We backed him up and as we were about to drive away, my training officer said, “If you get a chance, can you swing by the station and wake JJ up? He needed to rest for a few hours, so we put him in your car.”
It took days to get the smell out of the car. Needless to say, the sweatshirt was a gift for JJ. I may also add that there is a major city police chief who shall remain nameless who left her car unlocked and discovered 3 chickens in the back seat. Always lock your doors.
4. Cell Phone Wars
At one point in time, cellphones were brand new and came in a shoulder bag the size of a small briefcase. Calls at that time were going for like 2 dollars a minute. Needless to say, that led to cops calling other cops’ cells just to cost them money. “Is your refrigerator running?” “Hey if I hadn’t called you could you have brought a cup of coffee?” were just some examples.
Of course, cops need to take their jokes to the next level. One guy placed an ad in the classifieds offering a brand new set of Ping Zing golf clubs for 50 bucks and listed the cell phone of another cop. At first the other cop thought people were calling the wrong number, but soon saw signs posted around the station with the ad Xeroxed on it. He turned the phone off to prevent his bill from being jacked up. He later returned the favor by placing his own ad with the same offer, but adding, “I work nights. Please call midnight to 6AM,” and listed the jokester’s home number.
5. The Stakeout
I was not involved in any of the above listed pranks, but I take full responsibility for the following. I was in the drug unit on a freezing cold February night. A veteran named Detective Jay “Curley” Greene had just broken my stones for about a half hour in the guard room. He and his squad went out and I decided to get some payback. I went to the payphone and called the drug unit office. Charlie manned the desk and took any tips that came in. I disguised my voice and asked if Curley was there.
“No, he’s on the street.”
“You tell Curley it’s number 7 (all informants were referred to as numbers),” I said. “The house he’s been looking at on Hecla Street is getting a big shipment within the hour. Tell him that they know his car and the only way he can watch it is if he hides in the woods across the street. Don’t bring a car within 4 blocks of the place or they won’t do the deal.”
Charlie relayed the message to Jay over the radio. Jay set his squad up and hiked into the wooded lot to begin surveillance. After 2 and a half hours of waiting for the shipment, Jay radioed his squad. “I’m freezing. I’m going to break it off if nothing happens in 10 minutes.”
My partner and I pulled over to the nearest phone. I called Charlie back and said, “It’s number 7. Tell Curley they got a flat tire, so they’re late, but they just doubled the load up. They should be there in 45 minutes.”
Charlie went on the radio. “Jay, number 7 just called. They got a flat, but they are on the way. He said they have twice as much stuff as usual.”
Jay acknowledged and continued his op. An hour and a half later, I heard Jay call it quits.
My partner and I had a big laugh over that. The next day in court, my partner asked him how he made out on Hecla Street and burst out laughing. Jay soon realized he had been set up. I was entering the police room when I heard my partner give me up. Jay was steaming mad. I thought he was going to slug me.
20 plus years later, I was the Chief of Department as I sat by his hospital bedside as cancer was ravaging his body. Jay said, “Danny, thanks for coming. I just want to let you know my doctor thinks my cancer is job-related.”
I said “Really? What do you mean?”
He said, “They looked at my lungs and the type of cancer I have is caused by prolonged exposure to severe cold weather. You gave me cancer, you prick.”
Cops need to laugh to keep their sanity.