Area police getting training on taking 'selfies'

The new program will, according to Chief Ima Grabba-Goode, help officers “put the ‘dense’ in ‘evidence’” by striking poses that have proven to be effective in celebrity self-promotion

In a move to improve the image of her police force, Chief Ima Grabba-Goode has announced a plan to instruct officers on the proper tactics and techniques to take “selfie” pictures at crime scenes and other places.

The announcement comes amid criticism over police photography, which has been criticized as “dull” and lacking in self-expression – increasingly critical for connecting with a social media-savvy public used to co-opting any situation for individual promotion, no matter how tasteless.

The new program will, according to Grabba-Goode, help officers “put the ‘dense’ in ‘evidence’” by striking poses that have proven to be effective in celebrity self-promotion. A brochure handed out at roll call this morning read: “Just busted a bad guy? Strike a pose while pinning the suspect to the ground. Just dragged a muffler off the roadway, making it safe for the motoring public? Snap a pic with your hand over your mouth and post it to the department Facebook page.”

“Our police officers spend a lot of time by themselves and our body-worn cameras aren’t capturing the real cops inside those uniforms,” Grabba-Goode said. 

Future training sessions will address issues such as when it’s most appropriate to do the “Duck Face” and whether or not it’s within agency policy to do the “Miley Smiley.”

“The law enforcement agency that ignores social media is out of touch with the community that it serves,” Grabba-Goode said. “Today’s successful department is ‘Liked’ and has tons of ‘hits or ‘gone viral.’ Our new motto here will be, ‘Don’t whine — Vine!’”

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