15 more signs that you're a cop

You know you’re a cop when...

A while back, I posted an item entitled 25 signs that you’re a cop. It remains one of the more popular articles we’ve ever done, and the comments beneath that piece are priceless. 

That first article was intended as humor, but much of the feedback we got was from officers who were comforted by the fact that their ‘cop quirks’ were shared with fellow officers — and that it’s good to be able to laugh at those things together. I’ve recently mined the comments for the best, funniest additions to the original list. 

You know you’re a cop when...

1. You’ve thrown a recently purchased beverage out the window because you just got a hot call.

2. You’re the only person at the party who is introduced to others by your profession.

3. You’ve had a cold beer after getting home from work, even though it was seven in the morning.

4. You’ve had pizza delivered to a cordoned-off crime scene.

5. You’ve eaten a sandwich next to the coroner, while they’re examining the body on the slab.

6. You’ve got a permanent “farmer's tan” on your left arm.

7. You regularly pay the check BEFORE the meal arrives in case you have to leave for a hot call.

8. You’ve said to a colleague, “Things with me and my ex-wife / ex-husband are awful right now...” and your partner replied quickly back, “Be more specific. Which one?”

9. You’ve heard more than one person say “You’ve got to believe me. These aren’t my pants.”

10. You’ve heard a parent tell a kid, “You’d better behave or that police officer will take you to jail.”

11. You’ve brought a new gun to work, showed it off to your colleagues, and you didn’t get fired.

12. You've knocked on an elderly person’s door — doing a welfare check a half hour before the end of your shift — muttering under your breath, “Don't be dead, don't be dead, don't be dead.”

13. You’ve heard “I only had two beers” from more people than you can count — and every last one of them had way more than just two beers.

14. You’ve responded to a citizen claiming to have “had only two beers” by saying, “Yes, the first and the last, but how many beers were in between?” and/or “How big were those two beers?”

15. You’ve added the following like of inquiry to your field sobriety tests: “This question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?”

What do you think? What are some more indicators you’re a cop? Add your thoughts in the comments area below. 

About the author

Doug Wyllie is Editor at Large for PoliceOne, responsible for providing police training content and expert analysis on a wide range of topics and trends that affect the law enforcement community. An award-winning columnist — he is the 2014 Western Publishing Association "Maggie Award" winner in the category of Best Regularly Featured Digital Edition Column — Doug has authored more than 900 feature articles and tactical tips. Doug is also responsible for planning and recording the PoliceOne Podcast, Policing Matters, as well as being the on-air host for PoliceOne Video interviews. Doug also works closely with the PoliceOne Academy to develop training designed to prepare cops for the fight they face every day on the street.

Doug regularly represents PoliceOne as a public speaker in a variety of forums and is available for media interviews — he has appeared on numerous local and national radio and television news programs, and has been quoted in a host of print publications. 

Doug is a member of International Law Enforcement Educators and Trainers Association (ILEETA), an Associate Member of the California Peace Officers' Association (CPOA), and a member of the Public Safety Writers Association (PSWA).

Contact Doug Wyllie

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