You may not have yet been told, but there is a newly-revised manner in which we can Mirandize a subject. You begin by saying, “You are under arrest and...” from there you can add any one, two, three (or all!) of the following options.
1.) No, I don’t care who you are.
2.) No, I don’t care who you know.
3.) Yes... you do pay my salary.
4.) Yes... you CAN have my job.
5.) No, I don’t have anything better to do.
6.) Yes, I DO arrest real criminals sometimes.
7.) No, I am not picking on you because you are________ (fill in).
8.) No, I can’t give you a break.
9.) No, I don’t know your friend, Officer __________(fill in).
10.) Yes, you will be allowed to make a phone call.
11.) Yes, I’m sure you will never do it again.
12.) No, we can’t talk about it.
13.) Yes, it DOES make me happy.
14.) Yes, you WILL see me in court.
15.) ...Add your own idea in the comments area below!
Thank you, have a nice day.
